Writing, co-producing and performing that play was the hardest and most fulfilling thing I have ever done. For those of you who know me well, that’s saying something.
I’ve been getting emails and phone calls and facebook posts and hearing my friends chat, and it all boils down to the wonderful assurance that this play really did prompt the questions I wrote it about. What I especially enjoyed was when couples went to see it together and then told me or asked me about their points of disagreement.
Did Christian love Sadiyah or not? Does it make a difference? Did they help or hurt each other more, and does one matter more than the other? What does it really mean to love someone? Do you have to really know someone to love them? Are good intentions enough to absolve a person of what happens to someone else as a result? Those are the questions that intrigue me about the story, the characters and whatever’s between them.
I find these questions deeply interesting, so I want to share part of an email that came from an audience member. She spoke about the disagreement that she and her husband had about the relationship at the heart of the piece:
I feel that “Christian” did not mean to be hurtful to Sadie.. he simply could not bring himself to let her down. I liked the illustration of what our good intentions are , as opposed to the outcome , in this case, expectation that there would be more, a lack of willingness to “risk’ losing it all, on both of their parts. Interestingly, [my husband] saw Christian as a “villain”, a “player” as such. I don’t think so. His intentions were good, at least at the onset. Then things spun out of control; and his way of dealing with it was to try to turn it into a “best friend” scenario. he was kind to her, giving so much, but not his heart!
The analogy of the dancing was wonderful.. he leads, she is told to release it all to him.. her body would dictate the moves.. the play showed that the release of control is risky , on so many levels.
Tell me about her breakdown? . . . She was becoming “unhealthy” from the start ... Was it an undiagnosed pathology? … clearly not.
I think there are unhealthy aspects to every relationship..after 40 years of marriage i really can attest to that! The decision begins to be…can I live with this person for a lifetime knowing that to be true? I believe too many men and women labour under the illusion that there is a perfect match . I think wholeness is truly a myth at worst and relative at best.
Thanks again for a thought provoking evening.
Thank you, everyone who has engaged with this story and these questions.